Too Hard to Break Read online

  I nodded sympathetically and straightened an errant lock of hair hanging over his forehead. He smiled down at me and lowered my IQ.

  “Yeah, I know. I get paid tomorrow and you know I’d be happy to—”

  He placed his finger against my mouth to shut me up. “Just stop right there. I’ve already told you I’m not taking your money.”

  “Damn it, Hank. Why the hell not? I’ve mooched off you long enough already—”

  “You are my guest and here at my request, not a moocher. Are you sure you want to have this conversation right now?”

  The look in his eyes was a warning and I immediately decided no, I definitely did not want to have that conversation right then. With a sigh I shook my head and took a step back. His heat was distracting.

  “I gotta get to work,” I mumbled.

  He just grinned in a way that melted everything solid inside me. I took a deep breath and another step back.

  “I’ll walk you out since I better get going too,” he said.

  I just nodded and headed for the door with him right behind me. The storm had calmed a bit so my light jacket was enough cover from the slow drizzle. Hank held his own jacket over my head all the way to the car door. I rolled my eyes but knew it would be pointless to argue. The man was a gentleman through and through and I was always his first priority. Why in the hell I had a problem with that was a mystery to me too.

  “Call or text me when you get to work,” he said.

  I nodded and shut the car door so he would move the protection of his jacket over his own head. He just smiled and jogged around the front of his truck, parked beside my much older car.

  I couldn’t keep the smile off my face the whole way to work. I texted him as soon as I parked my car, before jumping out into the rain and running inside.

  The gym where I worked was always busy on rainy days, so I wasn’t exactly surprised by the full parking lot when I got there. I jogged through the light rain to the front door from a space at the very back of the large lot. By the time I got inside my hair was plastered to my face and I was shivering.

  “Hey, Elle.”

  I looked up to find my coworker Ben ogling my wet t-shirt. Luckily it wasn’t white but I cursed under my breath at not remembering to zip up my jacket.

  “Hey, Ben,” I said while crossing my arms over my chest. “Busy today?”

  He shrugged and looked over his shoulder at the gym beyond. Our station was right at the front double-glass doors. As soon as members walked in we greeted them, and watched them check into the electronic system. I usually felt like a monkey at the switch.

  Ben sat behind the counter and I walked around to join him. I had to bend over to stash my purse and jacket beneath the counter, his gaze burned through my clothes. Ben had only asked me out once since I ended things with Declan but he let me know on a regular basis he was still interested despite my rejection.

  “Stop staring at my ass, Ben.”

  He chuckled but hadn’t moved a muscle by the time I stood back up. I glared but couldn’t keep my face serious for very long. Ben always made me smile.

  “I can’t help it, hot stuff.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Have the mermaids been in yet?”

  “Nope. If the rain gets any worse those ladies will probably stay home. There’s no water aerobics scheduled today anyway.”

  “Yeah but they still use the pool every afternoon.”

  He shrugged again and leaned back in the chair, raising his arms to clasp his hands behind his head. Firm biceps bulged beneath his short sleeves, distracting me for just a second. A few months ago I would have blatantly ogled his arms and the well-defined chest straining against his shirt. However, living with Hank had seriously skewed my perception. Ben simply didn’t measure up physically. He was close, but not quite up to par with the older, stronger man in my life. I sighed and turned away as a customer walked in, putting on my brightest smile.

  The rest of the day dragged on without anything significant happening. It was almost time for me to clock out when Megan and Sean walked through the doors.

  “Elle!”

  My best friend ran around the counter and I met her halfway. We hugged as if we hadn’t seen each other in years. Sean rolled his eyes and shook Ben’s hand.

  “You’d think they were long-lost siblings,” he said.

  I laughed as Megan frowned at him.

  “You know how much I’ve missed her,” she said.

  The look he turned her way held all the love I prayed to know someday. He grinned as if she had said something supremely clever.

  “I know, babe. Just kidding.”

  She smiled back and something passed between them that had my heart sinking into my stomach. Would I ever have that?

  “Well, I’m so glad you stopped by even though I’m going to see you Wednesday,” I said.

  That brought Megan’s attention snapping back to me. “What about tomorrow?”

  “I took the day off.”

  “Oh?”

  I laughed at the suspicion in her voice but she didn’t even crack a smile.

  “Uh, yeah. I was going to meet my sister for lunch but Hank talked me out of it.”

  She scowled. “Good for him. At least I know he’s still thinking of your best interest some of the time.”

  “Megan,” Sean said in warning.

  She gave him a look I couldn’t decipher and I wondered about her choice of words.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

  She bit her lip in a telltale sign of nervousness and looked at the guys. Ben raised a brow in question as he leaned against the counter, arms crossed against his chest. If she wanted privacy he wasn’t going to comply. Sean seemed a bit worried, but it was hard to tell. He was very good about keeping his thoughts from his face.

  Meg cleared her throat and looked at her watch. “It’s almost time for you to clock out, right?”

  I glanced at the clock on the wall and nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

  “Well, we came to work out but I want to talk to you about something before you leave.”

  “Oh, uh…okay.”

  She gave a weak smile before hugging me again. Sean walked up as she stepped back and gave me a one-armed hug.

  “Good to see you, Elle.” He turned to Meg. “I’m gonna hit the weights, babe.”

  “Okay,” she said before kissing him.

  We both watched him walk away and I giggled as she sighed.

  “So, how is it getting to watch that all the time without worry of getting caught?”

  She laughed too and glanced guiltily at Ben, but he just grinned and turned away. “It’s great. Not that I cared about getting caught before, you know?”

  I snorted. “I remember. Poor Sean never had a chance.”

  “Nope, and he knew it.”

  We both laughed before I had to help Ben with a stream of incoming members.

  Ten minutes later I clocked out and walked over to where Meg sat on a stationary bike. She was barely peddling as she flipped through a fashion magazine.

  “You’re never going to break a sweat like that,” I said.

  She smiled. “Yeah, I know. I depend on Sean to help me break a sweat.”

  We both laughed as she followed me out of the gym to my car.

  “So, what’s up, buttercup?” I asked.

  Instantly her demeanor changed, all humor completely gone. “Uh…how are things with you and Hank?” she asked.

  I frowned in confusion and shrugged. “Okay, I guess. Not much has changed really.”

  “You’re still staying with him, right? I mean…nothing has changed at all?”

  We reached my car and I stopped to face her, crossing my arms around me. I didn’t like where this was going but had no clue why she was going there.

  “Yeah, why? Is something wrong?”

  She bit her lip again and looked over the parking lot as if searching for words. Dread settled in the pit of my stomach. Megan was my
best friend in the world and a really good judge of character. She had liked Hank well enough before.

  “Well, I don’t really know how to say this gently and I sure as shit can’t keep it from you…”

  “What, Megan? Just tell me.”

  She took a deep breath and huffed it out before looking me in the eyes. “Sean and I stopped for lunch once we hit town today and Hank was at the restaurant with another woman.”

  All the oxygen drained from my body and the immediate vicinity as her words slowly started to make sense. I leaned against my car and fought to breathe.

  “What? Uh…okay, I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.”

  She nodded quickly. “That’s what Sean said. I wanted to go confront him and at least find out who she is, but they were in a booth on the other side of the restaurant. I only saw them when we were walking out and Sean grabbed my arm. They were huddled over the table with their heads kinda close and then she started laughing and put her hand on his arm.”

  Nausea hit me hard and I squeezed my eyes shut, throwing one hand over my mouth.

  “Elle? Has he got a sister, a cousin, some female family member who lives close?”

  Megan’s quiet voice, filled with concern, came from far away. I forced my lungs to drag in air and slowly opened my eyes. Meg was staring at me wide-eyed with her face flushed.

  “N-no. No, all his family is back in Abilene where he’s originally from.”

  “I’ll kick his ass if he’s cheating on you, Elle. Or better yet, I’ll make Sean do it.”

  That surprised a laugh out of me. Sean had a few issues with his temper that had led to violence he was seriously ashamed of. It had almost come between them not so long ago. I shook my head.

  “No. No, that’s definitely not an option. Besides, he isn’t cheating on me.”

  Her brow creased in confusion. “He’s not?”

  “I haven’t committed to him, Meg. I’m still living in one of his fucking guest rooms.” I couldn’t keep frustration and anger from my voice but they were directed at me, not Hank.

  “Oh,” she replied. “Uh…oh.”

  “Yeah. I’ve been putting him off for months. I really can’t expect him to wait forever.”

  But I wanted him to, and we both knew it.

  “Fuck that,” she said with venom. “He invited you into his home knowing you needed help and special care. He said back then he was in for the long haul. Five months isn’t that fucking long.”

  I loved her so much in that moment. She knew exactly what I was feeling, since she had been through the tough times with me. She had tried to warn me about Declan when we’d met him, both at the tender age of nineteen, but I hadn’t listened. And like any great best friend, she had muddled through the hard times and smiled through the good times. She had always been there for me with my asshole ex. I knew she still would be no matter how badly I fucked up a good thing with Hank.

  “I know, Meg. I pretty much agree with you, but we gotta be fair. I’m the one putting him off.”

  She huffed out a breath. “Fuck fair.”

  That made me laugh until tears streamed down my cheeks. When she pulled me into her arms I realized the tears weren’t just from laughing.

  “It’s okay.” I sniffled. “I’ll be okay.”

  “Of course you will, Elle. You lived through an asshole like Declan. Getting over Hank will be a piece of cake. And you never know, there really could be a perfectly reasonable explanation.”

  I pulled away and nodded before glancing over her shoulder. “Sean’s coming for you, hon. You better go.”

  She smiled weakly. “Okay, but I think you should talk to Hank about this. Maybe just say I saw him at the restaurant and leave it at that. See if he takes the bait to explain.”

  I nodded again when all I wanted to do was cry some more. She sighed and glanced over her shoulder at Sean, who was now within earshot.

  “It’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”

  “All right. Call me later if you need to talk, okay?”

  I just nodded one more time and got into my car. Sean and Megan watched me with sympathetic faces before I turned away to drive home.

  Chapter Two

  Hank wasn’t home when I got there so I rushed into the house and straight to my room. It was hit or miss on rainy days. He might work all day or he might only work a couple of hours. Being Monday I expected him to be in late and seriously considered starting dinner, but I really didn’t have it in me to enter his domain. The kitchen was his favorite room in the house and it showed with every delectable meal he made. I’d gained ten pounds since moving in.

  An hour later I was lying on my bed reading when my cell phone rang. A glance at the screen showed it was Hank. My pulse sped up like always, but this time it was equal parts dread and anticipation. Would he tell me tonight I needed to find another place to stay? I remembered our conversation of a couple nights before when I told him Sean was moving into Megan’s house. Sean had been trying to convince his sister to live in his house so she would move to Houston from New York. She hadn’t agreed yet. I knew Sean would let me stay there for as long as I needed if it came down to it. So, maybe Hank had considered that exact same thing.

  I took a deep breath and answered on the third ring. “Hello?”

  “Hey, beautiful, how was work?”

  A smile spread across my face like it always did when I heard his voice. “Hey, Hank. It was fine, kinda busy. You?”

  I could picture him driving his pickup down the highway in the rain, one hand on the steering wheel.

  “Not bad. Couldn’t get much done today but one project I’m working on is coming along a lot sooner than expected.”

  “Oh? Well, that’s good, huh?”

  “Yup. Very good. Unfortunately I gotta tie something up tonight so I won’t be home ’til late. I’m sorry, baby. I wanted to make you a nice dinner but I stopped by the Chinese place you like and ordered your favorites. It should be delivered in about twenty minutes.”

  Dread hit the pit of my stomach as I struggled to breathe. “Oh. Okay.”

  “It’s already paid for. Don’t wait up. I’m not sure what time I’ll make it in. See ya later, sweetness.”

  “O-okay. Later.”

  He hung up while I still had the phone clutched desperately to my ear.

  “So it starts,” I whispered to myself.

  I had once caught Declan cheating on me, but it hadn’t gotten as far as him having sex with the other woman. He had started by coming home later and later, always with pitiful excuses. It was so cliché I tried to convince myself I was wrong until I went by his favorite bar one night when he hadn’t made it home and found another woman on his lap. I had pitched a fit and given him so much shit they threw us both out of the bar. He had beaten the hell out of me, but after that things had actually gotten a little bit better. His excuse was I’d started to ignore him. Apparently seeing me in a jealous rage was all he had needed to boost his ego.

  Was that what this was? Could Hank be baiting me into confessing my deeper feelings for him? No. I swept the thought away immediately. Hank was one of the most levelheaded and straightforward people I’d ever met. If he wanted to be sure of my feelings he would just ask outright.

  With a sigh I left my bed and pulled a sweater over the thin tank top I’d changed into as soon as I got home. I was wearing cutoff sweats and socks. Good enough to answer the door for the delivery guy. I dug around in my purse for a tip and took my book into the living room to wait for my dinner to arrive.

  * * * * *

  The red neon numbers of my alarm clock flipped over to eleven-fifteen when Hank’s truck finally pulled into the driveway. The familiar sound both eased and aggravated me. I was glad he had made it home safe since it was still storming, and aggravated with myself for waiting on him. My light was out and I was under the covers, but sleep had eluded me so long as I knew he wasn’t home. Tears burned the back of my throat at the thought of where he might
have been and what he might have been doing. I wondered if he was with the same woman Meg had seen at the restaurant or maybe he had been on a date. I gasped at the thought, turning my face into my pillow to choke off the sound.

  “Elle?”

  I’d been so lost in misery I hadn’t even heard him enter the house. Apparently he had decided to check on me and before I knew it he was sitting on the side of my bed.

  “Hey, baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  I kept my face hidden in my pillow and nodded. The pressure of his hand on the back of my head was gentle as he caressed my hair.

  “I thought I heard you cry. You’re not crying are you?”

  I shook my head but still didn’t face him. He ran his hand down my hair again before adding pressure to turn my face toward him. I didn’t bother resisting. It was dark in the room anyway.

  “Baby?”

  I gasped as his breath ghosted across my lips. He was leaning over me, hidden in shadows so I couldn’t see his expression. He kissed me softly and I tasted a hint of beer on his lips.

  “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  He kissed me again as if he could coax the answer from my mouth. I sighed and settled my palms against his chest, but didn’t have the strength to push him away.

  “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  He hummed and shook his head slowly, brushing his lips across mine. “Now I don’t believe that for a second. Your eyes are moist and you made a noise before burying your face in your pillow. Tell me what’s wrong so I can sleep tonight.”

  I released a breath and considered how to answer. One of the few things he had asked me for these past few months was honesty. After all the bullshit Declan had put me through I had easily agreed when Hank had promised it right back. I cleared my throat and asked the first thing that came to mind.

  “Where were you tonight?”

  He stilled until I wondered if his heart was still beating. A red flag went up in my mind and I knew I’d asked the wrong question.

  “Never mind,” I said quickly. “It’s none of my business.”

  He sighed and sat up. Moonlight broke through the passing clouds and streamed through my window just long enough for me to see him run his hand through his hair, then it was dark again.